Wouldn't Edward Make A Damn Good Dracula?
by aspenandeleen150
Summary: Alice has a vision of Tyler revealing the Cullens’ secret and the only way to make sure that doesn’t happen is to keep a close eye on the School’s production of Dracula. But as their secret hangs by a thread, will the Cullens' involvement help or hinder?
1. Chapter 1

**Part (1/3)**

_Everything was quiet. He stood above her sleeping figure, his dark cloak billowing out behind him from the cold draft floating through the room. Her breathing was shallow. His gaze stayed on her heaving chest for awhile longer before his eyes steadily moved up to her neck. He could hear the sweet blood pulsing from within her veins; his eyes lingering, wishing desperately for the moment to come when he would get to taste it. _

_Finally, the bright topaz orbs that glowed slightly in the darkened room came to rest upon her serene face. The immaculate brown eyes that shone with so much depth and beauty only hours before were now covered by pale, ghostly lids. Her full lips quivered slightly; tempting him, teasing him. _

_Slowly, cautiously, he leaned down so he was just a breath away. He ran a hand through her gossamer hair and down the side of her face. It felt so smooth, so warm against his icy skin. Continuing to lean in, he didn't notice her eyes flutter open. When he was a breath's length away from her throat, a burst of warm air ruffled his bronze hair._

"_Edward?" She whispered gently._

_Without looking up, he pressed his lips to her jugular._

_Her bloodcurdling scream rang throughout the still dark night._

* * *

When Edward Cullen, Alice Cullen, Emmett Cullen, Jasper Hale, Rosalie Hale, and Isabella Swan arrived in the cafeteria one murky day in Forks and instead of being met with the blank white wall on the opposite side of the room was a huge banner broadcasting a casting call for young actors and actresses for this years school play, _Dracula._

The vampires' faces paled considerably from there already pallid complexions at seeing it.

Rosalie, being the most hysterical of them all opened her mouth, drawing in a deep breath she didn't need, to prepare herself to howl in horror.

Emmett, her spouse, noticing this decided to put a stop to it before it could begin.

"She's going to blow! Get her out of here! Now!" Emmett said in a voice only loud enough for his brothers' and sisters' to hear with their ultra sensitive vampire hearing.

They formed a circle around Emmett and Rosalie, Edward making sure Bella heard the plan, before Emmett clasped a hand tightly over her mouth hand pinned her arms to her sides. Slowly, they worked their way back out of the cafeteria. As soon others they were a good distance away from the building, Rosalie was released and she let out an ear-splitting shriek.

"They're onto us!" She exclaimed, panic-stricken.

"Rosalie, Rosalie, don't panic!" Emmett said as he pulled her close, trying to calm her.

"How can I not panic Emmett! They're onto us! This is obviously their way of smoking us out!"

"Calm down Rosalie, perhaps it's just a coincidence." Edward said, joining in the task of trying to placate his sister.

"No! Isn't it obvious what we have to do? We have to leave again!"

"Rose, chill okay," Alice began, "If anything bad is going to happen I'll see it…" Alice, of course, was referring to her power to get visions of the future.

Rosalie just clenched her teeth, and before she could retort, Bella spoke up.

"Rosalie? I know you don't like me that much and probably won't think much of my opinion, but I really wish you would stay here. I mean, there has to be someway to get around this! I honestly don't think that someone went through all the trouble of setting up a play just to expose a couple of teenage vampires."

"Technically, we're all well over our teenage years Bella," Emmett jested.

Bella groaned.

Rosalie took one last look at her siblings, and Bella before yelling "Alaska, here I come!" She turned around and ran at vampire speed towards the woods surrounding the school.

"Not this again! Last time it was Edward who ran off to Alaska without a set date for return and now Rosalie! What is with you people and running away from your problems?" Jasper stormed.

"I wouldn't be one to talk Jazz, wasn't it just last week that you ran away from the house because Esme told you to clean our room?" Alice asked, elbowing him in the side.

"Maybe… But at least I was back within an hour! Who knows how long she'll be gone?"

As if by magic, Rosalie ran back out of he forest and rejoined the group.

"Well, that was quick." Edward muttered.

"Actually I'm just here to get Emmett." She replied.

"What? Why?"

"You're coming with me whether you like it or not… Besides I need your help packing."

Without another word she grabbed Emmett by the arm and they were out of sight again.

"Great! Just great! Now what do we do?" Alice stomped up and down in frustration.

"Isn't it obvious?" Edward asked, as he looked around at Bella, Alice, and Jasper, "There's only one thing we can do…"

"Which would be…" Bella prompted.

"We audition for the play." Edward said as if it were obvious.

"Oh! You mean like in _Interview With The Vampire _where the _Theatre Des Vampires _were vampires pretending to be humans pretending to be vampires?" Alice chirped.

"Yeah, I guess so." Edward said.

"How Avante Gaurde!"

"You watch way too many movies Alice…" Jasper said referring to he hobby of watching every vampire movie ever made for her own amusement, laughing at Hollywood's poor attempts.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and led her back to the cafeteria, with Edward and Bella in tow, in a similar position.

"Rosalie! Stop the madness!" Emmett's scream emanated through the house and down to the front room was where Alice, Jasper, Bella, and Edward currently took up residence, staring up at the massive pile of boxes stacked up to almost the ceiling.

"Oh…" Bella began.

"My…" Jasper continued.

"Carlisle!" Alice cried out seeing her 'father' (and coven leader) step inside of the door behind them.

"What is going on here?" He asked as he stared up at the boxes, almost touching the chandelier.

"My guess would be Rosalie." Edward said plainly.

"Rosalie? Why would she do this?" Carlisle asked in bewilderment.

"Because she's convinced that the mortals are trying to smoke us out and make us reveal our identities." Jasper commented.

"And _this _is how she retaliates?"

"Rosalie! Don't pack my stuff! I'm not going with you!" Emmett yelled as he came into view at the top of the stairs, trying to grab a box labeled 'Emmett's 1980's Sneakers' from her strong grip.

"Of course you are!" She said as she swiftly side-stepped him and made her way down the stairs and started a new pile, "There is no way I'm going to Alaska alone! Besides, everyone else is coming!"

"No were are not!" Edward exclaimed as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"But they know about us!" Rosalie protested.

"No, they don't! Just because the school's play this year is _Dracula_, it doesn't mean they know!"

"Of course it does!"

"Rosalie, just calm down for a moment." Carlisle soothed, "You have no evidence if they know-"

"And I'll be damned if you put me through what Edward did through his rebellion stage again!" Esme cut in as she entered the room from the parlor.

"Mom! I already said sorry for that!"

"I know Edward, but sometimes I'm just afraid to lose you, that's all."

"Anyways, topic aside, Rosalie, you don't need to go to Alaska to escape this!" Alice almost pleaded as she put on her puppy dog eyes.

"Yeah Rosalie," Jasper inserted, "Edward, Alice, Bella, and I have decided to audition. It may be our only way around it."

"Not a bad plan." Carlisle inserted, "Esme and I could join on as parent helpers to make sure that nothing goes wrong…"

"How can you let them go through with this?" Rosalie shrieked. "We're about to be exposed and you're not going to do anything to stop them?"

"You can still go to Alaska Rosalie, even though it would break my heart to see you leave." Esme comforted.

"Yeah, and you can take Emmett with you!" Jasper exclaimed.

"Trying to get rid of me bro?" Emmett jested as he punched Jasper in the arm.

Jasper just laughed.

"So what's it going to be Rosalie," Bella spoke for the first time in a while, "Are you in?"

Rosalie pouted for a minute before spouting, "Fine, I'm in…" 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Do we need a disclaimer? Okay fine here it goes...we are poor unemployed (oh, shit...that was on my to do list...) students who by no means intend to insinuate that we own Twilight or Dracula…or LOST for that matter.

* * *

Chapter 2 

Rehearsals had been underway for the past few months and each actor was progressing at their own pace. Edward was a flawless Dracula and the director marveled at his unnatural talent and uncanny insight in to his role. Mike, on the other hand, was having trouble with not making Jonathon Harker's turmoil seem cheesy. Bella was charming enough although trouble occurred when it came to Mina having to move. The most amazing though, was Tyler Crowly. His inequitable passion for his character, Dr. Van Helsing, was overwhelming.

Rosalie, plan A having failed, moved onto plan B, which involved joining the hair and make-up crew and attempting to keep her siblings' secret by lurking around the wings, and in the audience at practice.

Jasper, having taken on the role of the psychotic Reinfeild, was stunned to realize that his power, being able to calm a room and other volumes of empathy, was fading fast and being replaced with the sniffles.

"Why is my dresser on the stage?" Emmett asked as he walked through the doors to the auditorium.

"Isn't that Carlisle's chandelier from the original production of _Phantom of the Opera_?" Jasper questioned as he stared up at the giant lighting device suspended from the catwalks.

"Oh my god! My couch!" Edward exclaimed as he finally made it through the door, only to see his trademark, black leather couch perched in the center of the stage.

Suddenly, there was a short giggle in Edward's head.

"Alice, if you had anything to do with this I swear I'll rip you to shreds then burn you to ashes!" He screamed dramatically as he fell to his knees.

"Why did we ever think it was smart to let Alice join the props crew? I mean, Rosalie and the hair and make-up team makes perfect sense, and Esme on costumes, but Alice on props? It was a disaster waiting to happen!" Jasper explained to his brothers.

Mr. Director came up behind Edward who was still on the floor mumbling under his breath, and tapped him on the shoulder.

Edward snapped his head around to glare at him before shouting "What do you want? I'm ranting!"

"Why Edward, you look so pale. You should go out in the sun more often."

Edward just stared at him. This guy was whack!

No one had quite gotten used to Mr. Director's random comments (no one really knew his name so they just called him Mr. Director), since he has only been there for several months after the former Drama teacher, Mr. Pratt, had died under suspicious circumstances. Foul play may have been a factor, but the police refuse to comment.

"He's paling himself down for his character…" The ever helpful (cough cough) Rosalie quipped.

Ignoring the blonde's comment, he turned to her with a maniacal glint in his eyes.

"Why Rosalie! You're looking _supernaturally_ lovely today!" Mr. Director exclaimed.

"Umm, thanks…new eyeliner…" She replied unsurely.

This guy was up to something…

Turning back to his former victim of twenty weird comments, he yelled "Edward!"

"What?" Edward shouted right back as he jumped up and spun around to face the aggravating man.

"Quick! What number am I thinking of?"

_4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4_ Edward heard in his mind from reading the Director's thoughts with his vampire gift.

"Five." Edward spat knowing that he shouldn't get the right one.

"Four." Mr. Director said sulkily.

"I was close…" Edward shrugged and went back to ranting about his couch and how he was going to kill Alice once he was back at home.

Seemingly thinking about Alice also, Mr. Director ran over to the pixie-like vampire who was running around, passing people out their personal props.

"Alice! Would you help me with something?" Mr. Director said in a sickly sweet voice.

Alice dropped the stuff she was carrying then turned to face the man, who for some reason, always wore a black fedora.

"What do you need Mr. D?" She asked exuberantly.

"I need you to pick me some winning lotto numbers…"

Alice chewed on her bottom lip for a minute before speaking.

"4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42."

"Aren't they cursed?"

"Maybe…but how should I know?" Alice asked innocently before bouncing away.

Feeling very disappointed at his results so far, Mr. Director looked around for his next victim. He moved over to the stage where Emmett was lounging on the bed being used for the asylum scene.

"Emmett, my good man! Would you mind moving that bed down to the biology lab?"

"Why does the biology lab need a bed?" Emmett asked suspiciously.

"I'm not sure, but Mr. Banner told me that they needed one so I decided to lend him this one."

"Alright… Who's helping me?"

"No one."

"What do you mean? You can't expect me to lift this myself!"

"I thought you looked like you've been working out a little…"

"Even if I had been I'm not strong enough to lift a bed by myself."

"It was worth a shot…" Mr. Director sighed as he ambled away from the strongest sibling, who in the privacy of his family could lift a car over his head with one hand.

He had only one more chance. Surely he could make Jasper crack. He looked around furiously for the last vampire but he was nowhere in sight.

"Hmm… Where could he be?" Mr. Director mused to himself. "Has anyone seen Jasper?" He yelled.

"I'm right here Mr. Director!" Jasper called as he and Emmett walked through the door.

"Where were you two?"

"Taking the bed to the biology lab." Emmett quipped.

"But I thought you said you couldn't…"

"I said I couldn't do it by myself… I got Jasper to help me."

"But how did you do it so fast? I was just talking to you less than a minute ago!" Mr. Director exclaimed, thinking that his plan was finally working out.

"We ran." Emmett shrugged, as if it was the most logical explanation and headed back stage.

Mr. Director stared after him in aggravation.

"You wanted to speak to me?" Jasper prompted as Mr. Director turned his gaze back to him.

"Yes actually, I was wondering if you would mind calming Jessica and Lauren down, they seem to have gotten into a heated cat fight near the props cupboa-" He was cut off by Jasper sending out a loud sneeze, followed by sniffling. "Oh, never mind, you're no help to me with the sniffles!" Mr. Director cried out in anger as he stomped away.

"What does he mean I'm no help? I can too calm people, although I'm not too sure how he sensed that…" Jasper mumbled as he walked over to Jessica and Lauren in the corner.

The two girls were screaming at each other and occasionally trying to slap the other across the face, while Angela, who was playing their counterpart as Dracula's third vampire bride, was standing off to the side, looking at them skittishly.

Ignoring their show, Jasper moved in and placed his hand on Jessica's shoulder which caused her to stop arguing, and turn to glare at him.

"What are you doing?" She questioned confusedly.

"Are you calm now?" Jasper asked serenely as he ignored her question.

"No. I'm pissed."

"That's not right!" Jasper exclaimed as he turned to place a hand on Lauren. "How about you? Are you calm yet?"

"No. Stop touching me, you're contagious!" Lauren yelled as she yanked herself out of Jasper's grasp.

"No! It's impossible!" Jasper shouted as he ran over to Mike who was studying his script. "Are you calm?" Jasper asked desperately as he slapped a hand down on Mike's arm.

"Huh?" Mike replied brilliantly.

"Gah!" Jasper screamed as he continued this with other various cast members, including his brothers and sisters.

"What's wrong Jazz?" Alice asked worriedly as he finally reached her.

"My power! It's not working!"

"What do you mean it's not working?"

"I don't know!" Jasper yelled as he turned and began jogging, human-pace, to the door.

"Where are you going?" Alice called after him.

"I'm going to talk to Carlisle! Get them to recast my part!"

"Why?"

"I won't be back for awhile! Maybe a week or so!"

Mr. Director threw an arm around Mike's shoulder, avoiding the fact that one of his students just fled the building at an alarming speed.

"You seem to be taking the fact that you didn't get the role as Dracula very well Mike. I'm proud of you for not letting that little fact get in the way of your friendship with Mr. Cullen."

Mike raised an eyebrow but decided not to argue. After all, Mr. Director could give him a detention.

"Well, you know it's not all that bad playing Jonathon Harker. Besides, I never really wanted to play Dracula that much anyways."

"Oh? And why is that Mike? Do you not feel that you have enough star power to take on the leading role?"

"Star power? Oh come on, you can't deny that Edward has the face that launched a thousand endorsement deals. I only wanted to play Dracula because his name was in the title, but after I read the script, I found out that Jonathon Harker was an alright guy. Besides, vampires never get the girl."

"What?" Edward stormed over to them, immediately joining in on the conversation. "What do you mean vampires can't get the girl?"

"It's a well known fact that the hero always gets girl, never the creature of the night, or the monsters under the bed, or the fire breathing dragon. God, don't you ever watch Disney?" Mike elaborated.

"Well Dracula isn't Disney and if you haven't realized, Lucy has three guys going after her, and who does she end up with? That's right, Dracula!" Edward exclaimed, pointing at Mike in triumph.

"But Mina doesn't end up with you."

"Yes she does."

"What are you talking about? She's my wife!"

"She's too young to be married! Trust me, I already asked her."

"What do you mean you already asked her? You were probably stalking around in the woods looking for your next meal. You didn't have time to ask her!"

"On the contrary my dear friend, I have eternity!"

"So? She still ends up with me."

"Let's ask her, shall we? Hey Bella!" Edward called across the room to Bella. "Would you mind coming over here for a minute?"

Bella slowly hobbled over to them, trying desperately not to trip over her skirts.

"Yes?" She asked upon her arrival.

"Bella," Edward began. "Who do you end up with romantically?"

Bella looked between the two in confusion for a moment.

"Edward, I'm with you, we all know that."

"What?" Mike cried. "This isn't right! You're my wife! Mine!"

"Mike, I'm to young to be married. Besides, Edward already asked me and I turned him down because of that fact, not to mention Charlie and Renee would take my head off if I got married this young. What makes you think that you stand a chance?"

"The fact that it's _in the script_!"

"Script? What are you talking about?"

"That you're my wife!"

"You're delusional." Bella muttered as she walked back over to where Esme was waiting on stage with a box of pins, wanting to finish hemming her dress.

"You see Newton? I told you that vampires can get the girl." Edward grinned.

"You're not a vampire Cullen! You're just playing one!"

"We'll see about that." Edward mumbled as he walked over to Bella and Esme, knowing that he would probably need to be used as a balance for his girlfriend while his 'mother' worked on her costume.

When he reached center stage, a huge sandbag fell from the rafters. Edward took no notice and kept on walking as it hit an 'x' on the floor that was marked with red tape. Jessica, who was currently going up on stage to the wings to get her make-up done, stopped dead in her tracks upon seeing the 'x'.

"Stand here." She read aloud. "Okay." She stood on the 'x' just in time for the sandbag to hit her on the head, knocking her out.

Turmoil and Chaos.

"Someone call an ambulance!" Angela called. Tyler whipped out his cell phone and dialed 911 while Emmett carried her down to the nurse's office, offering to wait with her until the ambulance arrived, much to Rosalie's dismay.

"So I'm really getting into my character." Tyler bragged one afternoon to some of the other cast members.

"Really?" Mike asked, not really interested in anything other than Bella laughing at something Edward had just said.

"Yeah. I went over to the Cullens Saturday morning and-"

"Hold up." Eric Yorkie threw his hands in the air. "_You _were inside the Cullens?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Well, since I'm playing Dr. Van Helsing, I decided to get some advice from a real doctor."

"Dr. Cullen." Eric clarified.

"Yes." Tyler continued.

"But Dr. Cullen doesn't chase vampires." Mike pointed out, rejoining the conversation with a minimal attention span.

"Either way, he seemed to have some pretty good advice." Tyler smirked at the memory…

"_Hi." Tyler said as the door to the big white house opened._

"_Hi." Carlisle replied, somewhat confused as to why this random teenager was knocking on his door at seven o'clock on a Saturday._

"_Hi, I'm here doing research for the school play." Tyler began._

"_Uh-huh" Carlisle nodded._

"_I was wondering if I could have a moment of your time to ask you a few questions?"_

"_Sure." Carlisle smiled as he led Tyler inside._

"_You see I'm playing a Doctor."_

"_Uh-huh."_

"_And you're a Doctor."_

"_Uh-huh."_

"_So I thought you might be able to give me some insight into my character."_

"_Uh-huh."_

"_Great!" Tyler exclaimed._

"_Who is your character?"_

"_Dr. Van Helsing."_

_Carlisle hid a smirk with his coffee cup._

"_So…how long have you been a Doctor?"_

"_Oh…medical school seems like yesterday."_

"_My mother's a nurse, she says you are gifted, you handle a scalpel like you've been doing this all your life."_

"_She does?"_

"_Yes." Tyler answered as the immortal led him into his office. "Nice crib."_

"_Thanks."_

"_You collect art."_

"_Uh-huh."_

"_Do all Doctors collect art?"_

"_Some."_

"_This guy looks like you."_

"_We're related." Carlisle supplied as he looked at the painting of himself, complete in the early 1870's. _

"_My Dad's a shrink, he says that we are all extremely vain and are most attracted to those who resemble ourselves." Tyler continued absently._

"_Uh-huh."_

"_So doctors know stuff about the supernatural."_

"_Some."_

"_Do you?"_

"_Yes."_

"_So you know some things about vampires."_

"_A bit." Carlisle sighed. "It's a mandatory course in med school."_

"_So you can kill one."_

"_Uh-huh." _

"_How? Do you put a stake in his heart and cut off his head?"_

"_Yes. Don't forget the garlic in the mouth."_

"_Oh, yeah, can't be too careful with the undead, they're tricky. So how about the sun, like in Interview with a Vampire?" Tyler inquired._

"_When Claudia died?" Carlisle said, remembering how Alice made them all sit through it and called them heartless after they didn't grieve after the little girl's death. "Oh, yes, sunlight burns their skin."_

"_So during the day they sleep in coffins."_

"_Uh-huh."_

"_And they hate Garlic?"_

"_Uh-huh."_

"_And silver."_

"_Uh-huh."_

"_And Holy Water."_

"_Yep."_

"_And crucifixes."_

"_Uh-huh."_

"_Like the one in the hall?" Tyler asked, referring to the ancient wooden cross hanging in the hall outside. _

"_The bigger the better."_

"_So you think the cross will keep vampires away from this house."_

"_I've always been a superstitious man."_

_Tyler's cell phone rang. "Excuse me, I have to take this." He said in a business like tone after glancing at the display as if he was a drug lord waiting to close a multi-million deal in South American cocaine. He spoke into the phone. "Mom, what is it? Uh-huh…..Dad put the cat out…no…yes we have enough milk….Carlisle…yes, _the_ Carlisle…no mom I'm not covering….no you can't talk to him…fine…" He passed the cell to Carlisle. "She wants to talk to you."_

"_Hello…yes this is he…uh-huh…uh-huh….a blue shirt…uh-huh….uh-huh….my wife says so, too…no…no…stop…I'm giving you back to your son."_

_Tyler took the phone back. "Hey, mom….yes…no…I don't know….I don't think they fight….they seem happy…yes, very pretty…Hello?" He snapped the phone shut. "She hung up." He explained, dejectedly. _

"_Uh-huh."_

"_So if you don't have a stake," Tyler went right back on topic. "What could you substitute it with?"_

"_Improvise." Carlisle humored him further. "But you have to be sure they're a vampire, you can't go shoving pencils into your friends at the drop of a hat." (Or sandbag, but that's not foreshadowing or anything.)_

"_So a pencil would work?"_

"_Uh-huh."_

"_Cool."_

"… So then his wife gave me cookies and he showed me out."

"Cool."

"Yeah." Eric said, wide eyed.

"As I said, I feel very in-character." Tyler concluded.

"Yeah." Mike grumbled as the bell rang.

* * *

TBC. Final part coming up next!!! Reviews are love!!!! 

And if your looking for Twilight Halloween goodness check out Aspen's fic "Pumpkin Patch"

www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/3829278/1/PumpkinPatch


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This is the final part of this fic. I'd like to take this time to plug Eleen's single account (eleen) and my single account (Aspen's Dark Twilight) if you would like to enjoy more Twilighty goodness. Well recite Shakespearean quotation for reviews. Please review.**

**Disclaimer: We do not own Twilight or Dracula. Now you can't sue us.**

* * *

Everything was quiet. He stood above her sleeping figure, his dark cloak billowing out behind him from the cold draft floating through the room. Her breathing was shallow. His gaze stayed on her heaving chest for awhile longer before his eyes steadily moved up to her neck. He could hear the sweet blood pulsing from within her veins; his eyes lingering, wishing desperately for the moment to come when he would get to taste it.

Finally, the bright topaz orbs that glowed slightly in the darkened room came to rest upon her serene face. The immaculate brown eyes that shone with so much depth and beauty only hours before were now covered by pale, ghostly lids. Her full lips quivered slightly; tempting him, teasing him.

Slowly, cautiously, he leaned down so he was just a breath away. He ran a hand through her gossamer hair and down the side of her face. It felt so smooth, so warm against his icy skin. Continuing to lean in, he didn't notice her eyes flutter open. When he was a breath's length away from her throat, a burst of warm air ruffled his bronze hair.

"Edward?" She whispered gently.

Without looking up, he pressed his lips to her jugular and just before he got the chance to pierce her pale skin with his sharp white teeth, there was a loud 'bang'.

Mina gave a bloodcurdling howl at the sudden noise.

Dracula lifted his head from Mina and hissed at the three men who had burst into the room at the sound of her scream.

As John rushed to protect his beloved wife from the demon, someone threw open the stage exit door and a stream of daylight hit the stage, enveloping him in a cloud of brightness.

"Argh!" He shouted as the light hit his face, blinding him temporarily.

"Aha!" Dr. Van Helsing ran on stage and leapt towards John brandishing his index finer. "I knew it all along! They walk among us!"

The cast members on stage just glanced at each other, trying to figure out what was going on. This most definitely was not in the script.

"The monsters of our nightmares are in fact a reality!" Dr. Van Helsing continued his ranting as he gazed out into the audience. "The ones that suck your blood, turn into bats in the blink of an eye, and burn in the sunlight! Ladies and Gentlemen, behold," He spread his arms wide.

Off-stage, Rosalie went to go bursting onto the scene to shut up the delusional doctor but Esme and Alice grabbed her arms, dragging her back into the darkened wing.

"Holy Crow!" Mina whispered under her breath.

"Crap, he's going off script!" Quincy exclaimed quietly.

"Shit!" Dracula hissed as he drew his cape closer around him. He swiftly grabbed Mina's hand and turned towards the left wing.

They got about two paces when Dr. Van Helsing yelled out "Michael Leslie Newton is a vampire!"

Everyone went deathly silent.

After a moment, the entirety of the cast, crew and audience cried "Leslie?"

Mike's face was mortified.

Backstage, Esme, Rosalie and Alice had burst out laughing. _Foolish mortal_s Meanwhile, Mina and Dracula, their Escape forgotten, stared dumbstruck.

"Dr. Van Helsing," Mina composed herself from the shock and attempted to stay in character, "Don't you me _he," _She pointed to the vampire beside her, "Is a vampire? You know, _Dracula_?"

"Don't try and trick me!" Dr. Van Helsing shouted.

"Yeah," Dracula indicated to himself, also trying to help the situation at hand, "Don't you mean _I'm_ a vampire? I _did_ try to suck Mina's blood before I was so rudely interrupted…" He trailed off, feeling put out that he didn't have enough time to sneakily plant a small kiss on his girlfriend's throat.

"I know what I saw!"

Mike, finally having everything that happened in the past five minutes sink in, decided to take action.

"Dude, you promised not to tell!" Mike exclaimed at Dr. Van Helsing.

"So you admit it?"

"Admit that my middle name is-"

"That's not the point!" He protested. "You're a creature of the night that must be vanquished!" Quickly, he grabbed a pencil from the props on a nearby desk and advanced on Mike.

Quincy Morris and Dr. Stewart grabbed the back of Dr. Van Helsing's coat despite his protests of "We must destroy him!"

Up in the catwalks, Eric, in a final Looney Toon scheme to destroy Edward and capture Bella for himself, grabbed a sandbag, not having any anvils around, and attempted to drop it over the edge in a position for it to fall directly on Edward's head.

However, his fickle attempt was foiled when Emmett appeared on the other end of the catwalk, armed with a long bamboo pole. He poked Eric a few times before withdrawing it.

"Give me the sand bag." Emmett growled.

"No." Eric spat viciously.

"Give me the sandbag." Emmett growled again with a little more force, baring his teeth.

"No!" Eric yelled. He wasn't giving up without a fight.

"Give me the sandbag you little mortal!"

"Mortal?" Eric asked, his face twisting into one of confusion. Emmett nodded his head in confirmation.

"No! They've multiplied!" In a moment of panic, Eric lobbed the sandbag at Emmett.

He missed.

The sandbag landed with a boom a few feet from Tyler. Everyone looked up to the catwalk, from which the giant chandelier was dangerously swinging.

"Are you sure we're just not haunted?" Quincy asked.

"If we are, the ghosts seem like they're out to get Tyler." Dr. Stewart shrugged and pointed in Dr. Van Helsing's direction.

"Shut up Aaron!" He cried back, clearly getting a little shook up.

Tyler thrashed around, trying to free himself form the grasp of his fellow cast members. "He's a vampire! We must kill him! Just like Lucy! Remember the play? We have to kill him before he-"

THUNK!

A second sandbag hit Tyler on the head.

"Is there a Doctor in the house?" Quincy asked as he stared out at the audience.

Carlisle, who had been trapped in a fit of silent laughter and hysterics, composed himself and ran onstage to help.

"Rosalie, what are you doing?" Edward asked as he finished wiping the remains of his stage make up off in Carlisle's office at the hospital, paying attention to his sister for the first time since they had arrived.

Rosalie put down her copy of _The Half Blood Prince _and turned her attention to Edward.

"Just gathering evidence that Snape is a vampire."

"Snape is not a vampire." Edward stated. "Just because he lives in the dungeons, pops up out of no where, wears all black, and doesn't go out in the daylight does not prove that he is a vampire."

"But after Lupin's return to class after Snape gave the werewolf lecture, he gave one on vampires, proving that he knows something we don't; or should I say, _you_ don't?" Rosalie retorted airily.

"Snape is as much a vampire as Mike Newton will ever be."

"Or Tyler Crowly. And I plan to keep it that way…" She trailed off, still implying that Snape, Mike, and possibly Tyler were vampires, or soon to be.

"He just has a concussion, there is no reason for anyone to bite him. We don't just bite anyone you know."

"Better safe than sorry."

Rosalie got up from the office chair she was previously sitting in and began riffling through Carlisle's file cabinets.

"What are you looking for?" Edward asked suspiciously.

With an "Aha", Rosalie extracted a single file.

"What's that?"

"Tyler Crowly's file." She said dismissively as she began flipping through it.

"Rosalie…"

"Oh… Interesting; he is allergic to penicillin…"

"Don't even-"

"Hey, we were almost discovered because of him!"

"It would be more suspicious if he died."

"I suppose you're right." Rosalie surrendered looking crestfallen as she returned the folder back to its home.

"Come on, let's go and meet up with the others." Edward sighed as he headed for the door.

"Where are they?" Rosalie asked as she followed him out into the crowded hallway.

"In Jasper's room."

Together, they moved quickly through the crowded halls of the old hospital until they came upon the hallway harboring the room their brother was supposed to be situated in.

"What's all that noise?" Rosalie asked as they made their way towards the end of the hall.

"Who knows…" Edward replied offhandedly.

"It sounds like it's coming from that room." Rosalie stated as she pointed at the room numbered 1021. "What number are we headed to again?"

Edward pulled a small slip of paper out of his pocket and frowned upon seeing their destination.

"1021."

"That can't be right."

"Well, it says right here," He said gesturing at the piece of paper, "That it is."

"But Carlisle said that Jasper is in a room of his own."

"Maybe they needed the room for someone else. Come on, let's check it out." Edward pushed open the door and held it open so Rosalie could enter first.

"Always the gentleman…" Rosalie muttered sarcastically under her breath.

Edward rolled his eyes as he followed her in and let the door swing shut.

They were both met with an unexpected sight. In the bed nearest the door, Jasper lay surrounded by the rest of the family. Emmett and Bella were standing next to the bed laughing over something, extremely loud. Esme was sitting at the end of the bed, staring at her husband who was standing nearby, filling out some forms. Kneeling by Jasper's head was Alice, talking exuberantly about the night's events.

What surprised them though, was that in the bed closer to the window, Tyler was nestled under the covers, mumbling about vampires and how he 'almost had him'. He was surrounded by the rest of the cast and crew, asking questions about his outbreak on stage and how his head felt.

Then, in the final bed in the room, the one closest to the window, was a boy; his head of short light brown hair sticking up from under the covers where the rest of his body was concealed. He was turned away from everyone and appeared to be unconscious. It also seemed as though people were avoiding his bed like the plague.

"What's going on?" Rosalie asked, stunned.

"I have no idea…" Edward trailed off as he stared at the group of students, still in full costume, and the mysterious sleeping boy.

At Edward's last remark, Emmett stared at the two arrivals from his place beside Bella and waved to them like crazy.

"Eddie! Rosalie! It's about time you got here!" Emmett said as they made their way over.

Edward growled under his breath at the use of the nickname his brother's had given him.

"Never call me that again." He growled as he wrapped a protective arm around Bella's shoulder.

"What's going on?" Rosalie asked as she glanced around the overcrowded hospital room, even though it was probably the biggest one in the old residence.

"Well, since Carlisle had to take Tyler away from the school, he decided that he should keep him in the same room as me so he could keep watch over both of us." Jasper replied nonchalantly.

"What happened to you anyways? Are your powers back?" Edward questioned.

"Not quite, but they should be soon." Carlisle said as he moved over to Jasper's bedside, still holding his clipboard. "It seems that Jasper obtained some sort of flu and put his powers on hold. He should be back to normal soon, though I'm not exactly sure how he got the flu in the first place; generally our type can't catch such menial illnesses."

"You hear that Jazz?" Alice began as she poked his arm, "You'll have your powers back soon enough…"

"Powers?" Mike asked, turning towards the Cullens, lifting his eyebrows.

"Yeah, his…" Bella started but was quickly cut off by Emmett.

"Powers to get a strike every string in bowling!"

Everyone just stared at him. After a minute, Rosalie regained her composure and mouthed the work 'bowling' to her husband in a questioning way.

"Of course! Jasper here," Emmett continued, pointing to his bed-ridden brother, "Is an amazing bowler; but then when his cold kicked in, he lost the power to bowl non-stop strikes…" He trailed off as everyone turned back to what they were doing.

By now, Bella and Alice were giggling uncontrollably.

"Smooth move bowl-man…" Edward spat sarcastically.

"Why are we talking about bowling when there is a more important matter at hand?" Tyler asked.

Everyone was silent.

Screaming, he pointed out "Mike is a vampire!"

"Oh Tyler," Edward began, smirking, "There is no such thing as vampires," causing everyone in the hospital room, vampires and humans alike, to break out into a round of boisterous laughter, signifying that all was well in the town of Forks.


End file.
